Patient Jokes

 – 103 total
Dr: I have some bad news. You're going to be a vegan.

Boy: A vegetable?

Dr: No, a vegan

Boy: God no
Dr: I have some bad news. You're going to be a vegan.

Boy: A vegetable?

Dr: No, a vegan

Boy: God no


Memes,  Hospital Humor,  
    
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When the doctor sends a difficult patient back for more xrays
When the doctor sends a difficult patient back for more xrays

Memes,  Doctor And Nurse Jokes,  Michael Phelps Meme,  
    
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Dr: What do you do for fun?

Me: I like to volunteer

Dr: Wow you have such a big heart

Me: It's the least I coul-

Dr: No like wow you're gonna die
Dr: What do you do for fun?

Me: I like to volunteer

Dr: Wow you have such a big heart

Me: It's the least I coul-

Dr: No like wow you're gonna die


Memes,  Doctor Memes,  Heart Jokes,  
    
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doctor: ted, i have good news and bad news.

ted: what's the good news?

doctor: your semen sample was flawless.

ted: what's the bad news?

doctor: this was a urine test.
doctor: ted, i have good news and bad news.

ted: what's the good news?

doctor: your semen sample was flawless.

ted: what's the bad news?

doctor: this was a urine test.


Memes,  Funny Doctor Quotes,  
    
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Doc: I .. I don't know how to say this..

Woman: What?

Doc: Canker.. canser? Idk I've never seen that word before
Doc: I .. I don't know how to say this..

Woman: What?

Doc: Canker.. canser? Idk I've never seen that word before


Memes,  Bad Doctor Jokes,  
    
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girl: are yo checking for any lumps

doc: nah just need you to stay still so i can take a good pic for smash or p lol
girl: are yo checking for any lumps

doc: nah just need you to stay still so i can take a good pic for smash or p lol


Memes,  
    
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doctor: are you sexually active?

patient: i've seen this meme format like 30 times

doctor: just answer the ing question
doctor: are you sexually active?

patient: i've seen this meme format like 30 times

doctor: just answer the ing question


Memes,  Hospital Meme,  Memes Jokes,  
    
100%

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Trying to leave a patient's room but they keep on talking
Trying to leave a patient's room but they keep on talking

Memes,  Nurse Jokes One Liners,  
    
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Girl: Hey we should get dinner

Doc: Sure I just gotta tell a patient she's dying

Girl: I thought I was your last patient?

Doc: You are. Chinese sound good?
Girl: Hey we should get dinner

Doc: Sure I just gotta tell a patient she's dying

Girl: I thought I was your last patient?

Doc: You are. Chinese sound good?


Memes,  Doctor Meme,  Dying Jokes,  
    
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dentist: why the  are you even here? your teeth are so white they play golf on weekends.

patient: i'm only here for the nitrous oxide

dentist: all i have is this mirror stick
dentist: why the are you even here? your teeth are so white they play golf on weekends.

patient: i'm only here for the nitrous oxide

dentist: all i have is this mirror stick


Memes,  Funny Dental Jokes,  Photos With Funny Captions,  
    
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doc: ok great so you're anxious due to lack of sleep, poor diet and little-to-no exercise.. also you're extremely lonely and a rrible  to be around. here's a script for 90 xanax a month

sara: lol thx doc

dco: i gotchu fam
doc: ok great so you're anxious due to lack of sleep, poor diet and little-to-no exercise.. also you're extremely lonely and a rrible to be around. here's a script for 90 xanax a month

sara: lol thx doc

dco: i gotchu fam


Memes,  Doctor Memes,  
    
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Doctor- You're gonna be a vegetable for the rest of your life

Patient- I'm a vegan so that's amazing
Doctor- You're gonna be a vegetable for the rest of your life

Patient- I'm a vegan so that's amazing


Memes,  Best Doctor Jokes,  Disabled Joke,  
    
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cat: i will see you meow

patient: haha

cat: what the  is funny martha
cat: i will see you meow

patient: haha

cat: what the is funny martha


Memes,  Funny Doctor Quotes,  Cat Puns,  
    
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Nurse manager: Did you really tell your patient if he gets out of bed one more time you'd tie him to the bed?

No!
Nurse manager: Did you really tell your patient if he gets out of bed one more time you'd tie him to the bed?

No!


Memes,  Nurse Jokes One Liners,  Funny Movie Memes,  
    
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Become a nurse they said...

It'll be fun they said.
Become a nurse they said...

It'll be fun they said.


Memes,  Funny Nurse Sayings,  Hospital Meme,  
    
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