Petty Jokes

 – 208 total
Told this girl I was 6'0 & I'm supposed to meet her tomorrow. I'm 5'3 lmaooooo
Told this girl I was 6'0 & I'm supposed to meet her tomorrow. I'm 5'3 lmaooooo

Meme,  Savage Meme,  First Date Jokes,  
    
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When someone sends me a vid to check out, I look at how long it is, wait that amount of time, then write back "sooo good!"
When someone sends me a vid to check out, I look at how long it is, wait that amount of time, then write back "sooo good!"

Memes,  Savage Meme,  
    
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I want somebody to stand up at my funeral and say "She didn't even like y'all"
I want somebody to stand up at my funeral and say "She didn't even like y'all"

Memes,  Funeral Jokes,  Funny Death Quotes,  
    
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Stop shaking the gas nozzle like an extra $5 gone come out

Mind ya own business
Stop shaking the gas nozzle like an extra $5 gone come out

Mind ya own business


Memes,  Gas Jokes,  Gas Station Meme,  
    
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Y'all my mom is so petty she asked my dad to do the dishes yesterday and he didn't so tonight she served him spaghetti in a ice cream cone and said "since you don't want to wash the dishes I won't use any"
Y'all my mom is so petty she asked my dad to do the dishes yesterday and he didn't so tonight she served him spaghetti in a ice cream cone and said "since you don't want to wash the dishes I won't use any"

Memes,  Mom And Dad Jokes,  
    
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"You deleted my number?"

I deleted the text thread that gave me clues to who you were. Your number was never saved.
"You deleted my number?"

I deleted the text thread that gave me clues to who you were. Your number was never saved.


Memes,  Phone Number Jokes,  Texting Jokes,  
    
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10% discount is honestly so childish
10% discount is honestly so childish

Memes,  Discount Jokes,  Funny Sales Quotes,  
    
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Deleting your paragraph to text back "okay" = growth
Deleting your paragraph to text back "okay" = growth

Memes,  Jokes About Texting,  
    
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I don't want to end the year on bad terms with anyone...

So apologize to me.
I don't want to end the year on bad terms with anyone...

So apologize to me.


Memes,  Funny Witty Sayings,  
    
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my mom & dad are at my dads 30 year high scol reunion & my mom calls me and says "it's been 30 years and i still cannot stand that  your dad dated"
my mom & dad are at my dads 30 year high scol reunion & my mom calls me and says "it's been 30 years and i still cannot stand that your dad dated"

Memes,  Mom And Dad Jokes,  High School Reunion Meme,  
    
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If you honk at me .05 seconds after the traffic light turns green, ima put my car in park, adjust my seat, check the pressure on my tires, have an oil change, read a book, shiii I might have dinner and throw in a nap.
If you honk at me .05 seconds after the traffic light turns green, ima put my car in park, adjust my seat, check the pressure on my tires, have an oil change, read a book, shiii I might have dinner and throw in a nap.

Memes,  Traffic Jokes,  
    
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This girl I used to go out with is still using my Netflix and that's cool. She's watching Scandal and is currently on S7E12. Series finale is S7E18. Guess who's changing her password as soon as she gets to episode 17? Yep, it's Petty Labelle
This girl I used to go out with is still using my Netflix and that's cool. She's watching Scandal and is currently on S7E12. Series finale is S7E18. Guess who's changing her password as soon as she gets to episode 17? Yep, it's Petty Labelle

Memes,  Netflix Jokes,  
    
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My aunt unfriended me on Facebook so I can guarantee you that I will bring it up and ruin Thanksgiving this year.
My aunt unfriended me on Facebook so I can guarantee you that I will bring it up and ruin Thanksgiving this year.

Memes,  Facebook Humor,  
    
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I told my girl to drop a selfie and she sent me a collage of photos of other girls pictures ive liked on Instagram
I told my girl to drop a selfie and she sent me a collage of photos of other girls pictures ive liked on Instagram

Memes,  Social Media Problems,  
    
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for the es that like to keep up with my relationship... update:

he at my  last night.
for the es that like to keep up with my relationship... update:

he at my last night.


Memes,  Funny Girlfriend Quotes,  
    
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