Good news and bad news: A man walked into a doctor's office to get a check-up. After the examination the doctor says to the man, I've got good news and I've got bad news. The bad news is your going to die in a year and there's nothing you can do about it. The good news is I'm having an affair with my secretary.
So then the ubquitous salesman said to the farmer, "Can you put me up for the night?" Whereupon the farmer said, "Sure, but you'll have to sleep with my son." "Good lord", said the salesman, "I'm in the wrong joke."
a usewife selected three small tomatoes and was told by the grocer they were 75 cents, "what!" she exclaimed, "75 cents for tse small, tomatoes? well you can just take them and you know what you can do with them!" "i can't lady," replied the unhappy grocer, "there's a 95 cent cuber there."