Selfish Jokes

 – 74 total
Me: I should probably start Xmas shopping for the fam

Also me:
Me: I should probably start Xmas shopping for the fam

Also me:


Memes,  Xmas Meme,  Christmas Holiday Jokes,  
    
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"Can we use ya facilities, fam?"

Joel Osteen:
"Can we use ya facilities, fam?"

Joel Osteen:


Funny Celebrity Jokes,  Joel Osteen Jokes,  
    
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How I picture my food after being asked to share.
How I picture my food after being asked to share.

Memes,  Funny Relatable Pictures,  Jokes On Food,  
    
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Me on Christmas Day watching my family opening the gifts I bought them, thinking of all the way I could of spent that money on myself
Me on Christmas Day watching my family opening the gifts I bought them, thinking of all the way I could of spent that money on myself

Memes,  Christmas Meme,  
    
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Me: Not long until Christmas, I better start buying for my family

Other me: Treat yo self
Me: Not long until Christmas, I better start buying for my family

Other me: Treat yo self


Memes,  Shopping Jokes,  Christmas Gift Jokes,  
    
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"What are we"

Well you're mine and I'm single
"What are we"

Well you're mine and I'm single


Memes,  Future Memes,  
    
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Me: I should invite them over for Thanksgiving since they have nowhere to go

Also me: Lie so you have more leftovers
Me: I should invite them over for Thanksgiving since they have nowhere to go

Also me: Lie so you have more leftovers


Memes,  Funny Thanksgiving,  Evil Kermit Meme,  
    
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Cashier: Would like u to donate 10 cents to the childrens hospital

Me: Look man I'm not Bill Gates
Cashier: Would like u to donate 10 cents to the childrens hospital

Me: Look man I'm not Bill Gates


Memes,  Charity Jokes,  
    
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worker: would you like to donate $1 for sick kids?

me: haha  that but lemme get another double cheeseburder
worker: would you like to donate $1 for sick kids?

me: haha that but lemme get another double cheeseburder


Memes,  Drive Thru Jokes,  Charity Jokes,  
    
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Cashier: Your total is $123.67. Would you like to donate $1 to charity?

Me:
Cashier: Your total is $123.67. Would you like to donate $1 to charity?

Me:


Memes,  Cashier Meme,  Shopping Memes,  
    
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I deserve this

I've been shellfish all my life
I deserve this

I've been shellfish all my life


Crab Puns,  Crab Jokes,  
    
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Gives away $250,000 to be reunited with his camaro

Can't afford basic healthcare for workers.
Gives away $250,000 to be reunited with his camaro

Can't afford basic healthcare for workers.


Chevy Camaro Jokes,  Healthcare Jokes,  
    
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cashier: would like to make a donation to help dying children and puppies in need?

me: why you gotta make me look like a selfish  rn i just wanted to get some milk
cashier: would like to make a donation to help dying children and puppies in need?

me: why you gotta make me look like a selfish rn i just wanted to get some milk


Funny Quotes,  Funny Shopping Quotes,  
    
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You ate all the shrimp? 

That's so shellfish!
You ate all the shrimp?

That's so shellfish!


Shrimp Jokes,  Lame Pun Racoon (theme),  Seafood Puns,  
    
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Why wouldn't the shrimp share his stuff

He was a little shellfish
Why wouldn't the shrimp share his stuff

He was a little shellfish


Shrimp Jokes,  Seafood Puns,  Anti Joke Chicken (theme),  
    
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