Seth Meyers Jokes

 – 26 total
Today is April Fools Day. So if anyone wants to admit to an elaborate prank...

..please go ahead!
Today is April Fools Day. So if anyone wants to admit to an elaborate prank...

..please go ahead!


Memes,  Donald Trump Memes,  
    
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A new study has found that death of a loved one can dramatically increase a person's risk of a heart attack

So just to be safe, never let yourself get close to anyone.
A new study has found that death of a loved one can dramatically increase a person's risk of a heart attack

So just to be safe, never let yourself get close to anyone.


Funny Jokes,  Heart Attack Jokes,  Funny Relationship Facts,  
    
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a new trend on the internet is ptos of people planking, which is the act of lying face down, keeping one's body stiff when balancing on top of something

or what protestants call sex.
a new trend on the internet is ptos of people planking, which is the act of lying face down, keeping one's body stiff when balancing on top of something

or what protestants call sex.


Funny Jokes,  Anti Conservative Jokes,  
    
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It was reported that police were called three times to respond to complaints about a recent party thrown by Justin Bieber.

Each complaint was the same:

'No-one came to my party.'
It was reported that police were called three times to respond to complaints about a recent party thrown by Justin Bieber.

Each complaint was the same:

'No-one came to my party.'


Funny Jokes,  Funny Justin Bieber Quotes,  Justin Bieber Diss,  
    
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rush limbaugh criticized president obama's support of  marriage, accusing the president of leading a war on traditional marriage.

and limbaugh wants it to mean something if he ever gets traditional married for the fifth time.
rush limbaugh criticized president obama's support of marriage, accusing the president of leading a war on traditional marriage.

and limbaugh wants it to mean something if he ever gets traditional married for the fifth time.


Funny Jokes,  Rush Limbaugh Jokes,  
    
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Man punches shark

Meanwhile, I saw a cockroach in my bathroom, and now I shower at the gym.
Man punches shark

Meanwhile, I saw a cockroach in my bathroom, and now I shower at the gym.


Funny Jokes,  Roach Jokes,  
    
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Guys, you can't name a bridge Chuck Norris

Because no one crosses Chuck Norris
Guys, you can't name a bridge Chuck Norris

Because no one crosses Chuck Norris


Funny Jokes,  Bridge Puns,  Chuck Norris Puns,  
    
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Senator Ted Cruz was born in Canada.

So while we were worried about Iran, North Korea, and China, a Canadian shut down the U.S. government.

Well played, Canada.
Senator Ted Cruz was born in Canada.

So while we were worried about Iran, North Korea, and China, a Canadian shut down the U.S. government.

Well played, Canada.


Funny Jokes,  Ted Cruz Jokes,  Government,  
    
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This Sunday is Daylight Savings Time

So don't forget- the clock on your oven will be wrong for six months.
This Sunday is Daylight Savings Time

So don't forget- the clock on your oven will be wrong for six months.


Funny Jokes,  Time Jokes,  Oven Jokes,  
    
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One of the hottest new apps among teenagers is Snapchat,

Which allows users to send a picture from their mobile device, however the image will erase itself after 10 seconds.

Which, if you're a teenage boy is more than enough time.
One of the hottest new apps among teenagers is Snapchat,

Which allows users to send a picture from their mobile device, however the image will erase itself after 10 seconds.

Which, if you're a teenage boy is more than enough time.


Funny Jokes,  Funny Snapchat Jokes,  
    
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Christopher Columbus had actually seen three mermaids on his way to America.

I just think it's possible, and there's this extremely convincing documentary that came out.

"The Little Mermaid"?
Christopher Columbus had actually seen three mermaids on his way to America.

I just think it's possible, and there's this extremely convincing documentary that came out.

"The Little Mermaid"?


Funny Jokes,  Demi Lovato Jokes,  
    
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If you're an actor on Game of Thrones, I imagine you wait for next week's script the way most people wait for biopsy results. "I think you better sit down. Your character's been invited to a wedding."
If you're an actor on Game of Thrones, I imagine you wait for next week's script the way most people wait for biopsy results. "I think you better sit down. Your character's been invited to a wedding."

Funny Jokes,  Game Of Thrones Jokes,  
    
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A new study suggests that people who feel lonely don't sleep as soundly as other people because it's hard to get comfortable with all those cats in your bed.
A new study suggests that people who feel lonely don't sleep as soundly as other people because it's hard to get comfortable with all those cats in your bed.

Funny Jokes,  Cat Lady Jokes,  
    
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The summer Olympics are a grand spectacle of sport;

The winter Olympics is just 48 different kinds of sliding.
The summer Olympics are a grand spectacle of sport;

The winter Olympics is just 48 different kinds of sliding.


Funny Jokes,  Olympic Jokes,  
    
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A new report by the CDC suggests that the number of cases of diabetes in the US will double by 2050.

Which isn't too surprising to a country that uses fried chicken as bread.
A new report by the CDC suggests that the number of cases of diabetes in the US will double by 2050.

Which isn't too surprising to a country that uses fried chicken as bread.


Funny Jokes,  Kfc Jokes,  
    
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