Smart Alec Jokes

 – 93 total
"So why would we hire you>"

Me: "Uhh...because yall hiring."
"So why would we hire you>"

Me: "Uhh...because yall hiring."


Memes,  Job Interview Jokes,  Funny Witty Sayings,  
    
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Cop : I pulled you over for texting while driving

Me : You was on a whole laptop tho ....
Cop : I pulled you over for texting while driving

Me : You was on a whole laptop tho ....


Memes,  Cop Jokes,  Hypocrite Jokes,  
    
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Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?

Me: Yes ... February 14th
Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?

Me: Yes ... February 14th


Memes,  Anti Valentines Day Jokes,  Date Jokes,  
    
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These people waited 458 days just to get their luggage. Ridiculous
These people waited 458 days just to get their luggage. Ridiculous

Memes,  Airport Jokes,  Soldier Jokes,  
    
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Me: Venti iced coffee please

Barista: Iced? It's freezing out!

Me: Yeah well the inside of my mouth is the same temperature year round
Me: Venti iced coffee please

Barista: Iced? It's freezing out!

Me: Yeah well the inside of my mouth is the same temperature year round


Memes,  Starbucks Meme,  
    
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At the restaurant:

Waitress: Hi, would u like a table?

Me: Not really. I came to eat on the floor. Carpet for two please
At the restaurant:

Waitress: Hi, would u like a table?

Me: Not really. I came to eat on the floor. Carpet for two please


Memes,  Restaurant Jokes,  
    
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Cop: Are you drinking and driving?

Me: No I was drinking then driving

Cop: You're free to go
Cop: Are you drinking and driving?

Me: No I was drinking then driving

Cop: You're free to go


Memes,  Drunk Driving Jokes,  
    
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Doctor: I'm sorry Stephen, but your-

Me: *you're

Doctor: Sorry, you're dying
Doctor: I'm sorry Stephen, but your-

Me: *you're

Doctor: Sorry, you're dying


Memes,  Grammar Jokes,  
    
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Mom: I didn't raise you like this

Me: Then who raise me?
Mom: I didn't raise you like this

Me: Then who raise me?


Memes,  Short Joke Comebacks,  
    
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"what are we?"

"we. are. farmers! dun dun dun dun dun du--nah but fr get out my use"
"what are we?"

"we. are. farmers! dun dun dun dun dun du--nah but fr get out my use"


Memes,  Arthur Memes,  Funny Commercial Quotes,  
    
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*dad buying drugs*

dealer: you want some pot?

dad: nah, but i'll take a frying pan tugh hehehe

dealer: *sots him*
*dad buying drugs*

dealer: you want some pot?

dad: nah, but i'll take a frying pan tugh hehehe

dealer: *sots him*


Memes,  Funny Dad Sayings,  Corny Humor,  
    
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Tonight, I'm making what my girlfriend has always said she's wanted for dinner...
Tonight, I'm making what my girlfriend has always said she's wanted for dinner...

Memes,  Cooking Memes,  
    
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judge: anything you say will be held against 

boy: ties

lawyer: , he's good
judge: anything you say will be held against

boy: ties

lawyer: , he's good


Memes,  Bad Kids Jokes,  Courtroom Jokes,  
    
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When he asks "How do you sleep with yourself at night acting the way you do?"
When he asks "How do you sleep with yourself at night acting the way you do?"

Memes,  Petty Memes,  Sleeping Meme,  
    
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Mom: Why did u take my bottle of Xanax?

Son: My fiends told me to

Mom: If ur friends told u to jump off a bridge would u?

Son: Yes that would be sick
Mom: Why did u take my bottle of Xanax?

Son: My fiends told me to

Mom: If ur friends told u to jump off a bridge would u?

Son: Yes that would be sick


Memes,  Bad Kids Jokes,  Parent Memes,  
    
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