Smart Alec Jokes

 – 95 total
Or maybe the floor is just the floor...
Or maybe the floor is just the floor...

Memes,  The Floor Is Meme,  
    
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How long is her sentence?

Okay Katy is serving
How long is her sentence?

Okay Katy is serving


Memes,  Katy Perry Jokes,  Sarcastic Jokes,  
    
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"So why would we hire you>"

Me: "Uhh...because yall hiring."
"So why would we hire you>"

Me: "Uhh...because yall hiring."


Memes,  Job Interview Jokes,  Funny Witty Sayings,  
    
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Cop : I pulled you over for texting while driving

Me : You was on a whole laptop tho ....
Cop : I pulled you over for texting while driving

Me : You was on a whole laptop tho ....


Memes,  Cop Jokes,  Hypocrite Jokes,  
    
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Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?

Me: Yes ... February 14th
Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?

Me: Yes ... February 14th


Memes,  Anti Valentines Day Jokes,  Date Jokes,  
    
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These people waited 458 days just to get their luggage. Ridiculous
These people waited 458 days just to get their luggage. Ridiculous

Memes,  Airport Jokes,  Soldier Jokes,  
    
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Me: Venti iced coffee please

Barista: Iced? It's freezing out!

Me: Yeah well the inside of my mouth is the same temperature year round
Me: Venti iced coffee please

Barista: Iced? It's freezing out!

Me: Yeah well the inside of my mouth is the same temperature year round


Memes,  Starbucks Meme,  
    
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At the restaurant:

Waitress: Hi, would u like a table?

Me: Not really. I came to eat on the floor. Carpet for two please
At the restaurant:

Waitress: Hi, would u like a table?

Me: Not really. I came to eat on the floor. Carpet for two please


Memes,  Restaurant Jokes,  
    
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Cop: Are you drinking and driving?

Me: No I was drinking then driving

Cop: You're free to go
Cop: Are you drinking and driving?

Me: No I was drinking then driving

Cop: You're free to go


Memes,  Drunk Driving Jokes,  
    
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Doctor: I'm sorry Stephen, but your-

Me: *you're

Doctor: Sorry, you're dying
Doctor: I'm sorry Stephen, but your-

Me: *you're

Doctor: Sorry, you're dying


Memes,  Grammar Jokes,  
    
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Mom: I didn't raise you like this

Me: Then who raise me?
Mom: I didn't raise you like this

Me: Then who raise me?


Memes,  Short Joke Comebacks,  
    
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"what are we?"

"we. are. farmers! dun dun dun dun dun du--nah but fr get out my use"
"what are we?"

"we. are. farmers! dun dun dun dun dun du--nah but fr get out my use"


Memes,  Arthur Memes,  Funny Commercial Quotes,  
    
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*dad buying drugs*

dealer: you want some pot?

dad: nah, but i'll take a frying pan tugh hehehe

dealer: *sots him*
*dad buying drugs*

dealer: you want some pot?

dad: nah, but i'll take a frying pan tugh hehehe

dealer: *sots him*


Memes,  Funny Dad Sayings,  Corny Humor,  
    
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Tonight, I'm making what my girlfriend has always said she's wanted for dinner...
Tonight, I'm making what my girlfriend has always said she's wanted for dinner...

Memes,  Cooking Memes,  
    
100%

judge: anything you say will be held against 

boy: ties

lawyer: , he's good
judge: anything you say will be held against

boy: ties

lawyer: , he's good


Memes,  Bad Kids Jokes,  Courtroom Jokes,  
    
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