Therapist Jokes

 – 83 total
her: our sex life just isn't what it used to be

therapist: that's terrible!

her: yes our relationship has stuff--

therapist: no lol i was just picturing it
her: our sex life just isn't what it used to be

therapist: that's terrible!

her: yes our relationship has stuff--

therapist: no lol i was just picturing it


Memes,  
    
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Me: I just feel like no one cares 

Therapist...

Me: Did you hear me?

Therapist: [looking up from phone] sorry what?
Me: I just feel like no one cares

Therapist...

Me: Did you hear me?

Therapist: [looking up from phone] sorry what?


Memes,  Irony Jokes,  
    
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him: jeez jessica w could you talk to our therapist about our sex life?! i give you an inch and you take a mile

her: in that case imma need 2 miles baby carrot
him: jeez jessica w could you talk to our therapist about our sex life?! i give you an inch and you take a mile

her: in that case imma need 2 miles baby carrot


Memes,  
    
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- "I'm telling you, black-on-black crime is completely irrelevant and just a racist scapegoat..."

- "Lol I'm a white feminist with a Masters degree, I'm pretty sure I can decipher what's racism lol"
- "I'm telling you, black-on-black crime is completely irrelevant and just a racist scapegoat..."

- "Lol I'm a white feminist with a Masters degree, I'm pretty sure I can decipher what's racism lol"


Memes,  Funny Feminist Quotes,  
    
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Therapist: How often do you exaggerate?

Me: Like, a bazillion times a day
Therapist: How often do you exaggerate?

Me: Like, a bazillion times a day


Memes,  Funny Daily Quotes,  
    
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her: if he doesn't stop catching pokemon it's gonna be over...

him: well maybe if u didn't catch the neighbors pokeballs in ur mouth while i'm at work i'd stop

her: w told u?!

him: his wife last night when while we were screwing
her: if he doesn't stop catching pokemon it's gonna be over...

him: well maybe if u didn't catch the neighbors pokeballs in ur mouth while i'm at work i'd stop

her: w told u?!

him: his wife last night when while we were screwing


Memes,  Cheating Meme,  
    
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mom: i'm tired of this lil  crying an ting all the time

therapist: what did you expect?

mom: i expected him to raise our baby
mom: i'm tired of this lil crying an ting all the time

therapist: what did you expect?

mom: i expected him to raise our baby


Memes,  Funny Wife Quotes,  New Baby Jokes,  
    
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her: he turns everything dirty, it's so hard to take

me: that's what she said

therapist: lmao

me: lmao
her: he turns everything dirty, it's so hard to take

me: that's what she said

therapist: lmao

me: lmao


Memes,  
    
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Therapist: Start at the beginning Ted.

Ted: Once I was 7 years old, my momma told me go make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely.

Therapist: Isn't that a song?

Ted: Oh its too late not to say sorry?

Therapist: I'd give anything to choke you.
Therapist: Start at the beginning Ted.

Ted: Once I was 7 years old, my momma told me go make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely.

Therapist: Isn't that a song?

Ted: Oh its too late not to say sorry?

Therapist: I'd give anything to choke you.


Memes,  Song Jokes,  
    
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Therapist: What's wrong?

Me: I can't stop quoting Eminem lyrics

Therapist: Can you explain a bit further?

Me: I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like
Therapist: What's wrong?

Me: I can't stop quoting Eminem lyrics

Therapist: Can you explain a bit further?

Me: I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like


Memes,  Funny Lyrics,  
    
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Therapist: what's wrong?

Her: he's insane! he shows his muscles to avoid his problems

Me: you know what else is insane? *starts unbuttoning shirt*
Therapist: what's wrong?

Her: he's insane! he shows his muscles to avoid his problems

Me: you know what else is insane? *starts unbuttoning shirt*


Memes,  Muscle Man Jokes,  
    
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Therapist: What's upsetting you?

Wife: He's always using common phrases incorrectly 

Me: Cry me a table, Linda
Therapist: What's upsetting you?

Wife: He's always using common phrases incorrectly

Me: Cry me a table, Linda


Memes,  Stupid Funny Sayings,  
    
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Who needs a therapist?

I have my beagle!
Who needs a therapist?

I have my beagle!


Beagle Jokes,  Funny Dog Quotes,  
    
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Mom, our relationship means the world to my therapist.
Mom, our relationship means the world to my therapist.

Funny Quotes,  Mom Meme,  
    
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''Ok, so I have a thing about thunder!';
''Ok, so I have a thing about thunder!';

Lightning Jokes,  Thunder Jokes,  
    
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