Wife And Husband Jokes

 – 68 total
                  
When you were up all night with the kids and your husband tells you he's "so tired."
When you were up all night with the kids and your husband tells you he's "so tired."

Memes,  Tired Meme,  
    
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Wife: Grow up, you can;t believe everything you read on the internet.

Me: I don't need this. There are local singles in my area dying to meet me.
Wife: Grow up, you can;t believe everything you read on the internet.

Me: I don't need this. There are local singles in my area dying to meet me.


Memes,  Internet Humor,  
    
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"......tell  my wife, i don't.....i don't know that  in the car."
"......tell my wife, i don't.....i don't know that in the car."

Memes,  Funny Car Accident,  
    
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Wife: That nurses hands were all over you

Me: I was having a heart attack

Wife: I honestly knew you would say
Wife: That nurses hands were all over you

Me: I was having a heart attack

Wife: I honestly knew you would say


Memes,  Nurse Jokes,  
    
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Therapist: What's upsetting you?

Wife: He's always using common phrases incorrectly 

Me: Cry me a table, Linda
Therapist: What's upsetting you?

Wife: He's always using common phrases incorrectly

Me: Cry me a table, Linda


Memes,  Stupid Funny Sayings,  Therapist Jokes,  
    
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According to my wife, I snore, and one of these nights I may stop breathing.

Because of sleep apnea?

Because her hands will be around my throat.
According to my wife, I snore, and one of these nights I may stop breathing.

Because of sleep apnea?

Because her hands will be around my throat.


Sleep Humor,  Funny Sleeping Quotes,  Husband Jokes One Liners,  
    
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Does this outfit make me look fat?
Does this outfit make me look fat?

Husband And Wife Jokes,  Lie Jokes,  Lying Jokes,  
    
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''I threw away the love seat, Arnold... it just felt dishonest''.
''I threw away the love seat, Arnold... it just felt dishonest''.

Love Puns,  Couch Jokes,  Cheesy Love Jokes,  
    
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When your wife and kids are getting on your nerves
When your wife and kids are getting on your nerves

Memes,  Funny Meme Jokes,  
    
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Firefly joke

Q: Why was the lady firefly unhappy?

A: Because her husband was a little dim!
Firefly joke

Q: Why was the lady firefly unhappy?

A: Because her husband was a little dim!


Insect Jokes For Kids,  Kids Jokes And Riddles,  Bug Jokes For Kids,  
    
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If you point out your wife's first grey hair

You're gonna have a bad time
If you point out your wife's first grey hair

You're gonna have a bad time


Grey Hair Jokes,  South Park Meme,  
    
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I wanted to impress my wife, so I dragged her to the bedroom, threw her on the bed

And did all of the dishes and laundry while she took a nap
I wanted to impress my wife, so I dragged her to the bedroom, threw her on the bed

And did all of the dishes and laundry while she took a nap


Memes,  Husband And Wife Jokes,  Cleaning Jokes,  
    
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When my husband asks

Where the guinea pig came from
When my husband asks

Where the guinea pig came from


Guinea Pig Jokes,  Funny Reactions,  
    
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I beat my wife and kids

At scrabble the other day
I beat my wife and kids

At scrabble the other day


Memes,  Scrabble Jokes,  Successful Black Man Memes,  
    
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Tel my husband I love him...

No, not that one... nope, not that one either...
Tel my husband I love him...

No, not that one... nope, not that one either...


Memes,  Kim Davis Meme,  Bad Marriage Jokes,  
    
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