Zach Galifianakis Quotes

 – 31 total
When people interrupt me

Please, be quiet.

I'm very interesting.
When people interrupt me

Please, be quiet.

I'm very interesting.


Memes,  Zach Galifianakis,  
    
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My dream is to move to India, or Pakistan. 

And become a cab driver.
My dream is to move to India, or Pakistan.

And become a cab driver.


Funny Quotes,  India Jokes,  
    
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i once ate a footlong corndog on a nude beach. never gonna make that mistake again.
i once ate a footlong corndog on a nude beach. never gonna make that mistake again.

Funny Quotes,  Funny Beach Sayings,  
    
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My uncle Roger said he once say an albino polar bear.

Polar bears are white. How would he know it's an albino? 

This one was black.
My uncle Roger said he once say an albino polar bear.

Polar bears are white. How would he know it's an albino?

This one was black.


Funny Jokes,  Polar Bear Jokes,  
    
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Like, when you go to the beach and someone yells "SHARK, SHARK!" and then they just realize that it's just Steve Carell doing the backstroke?
Like, when you go to the beach and someone yells "SHARK, SHARK!" and then they just realize that it's just Steve Carell doing the backstroke?

Funny Quotes,  Funny Beach Sayings,  
    
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i wanna go me. i want a . i want an ice cream sandwich. i wanna take a nap. i wanna read a comic book. i wanna watch little use on the prairie. i want a .
i wanna go me. i want a . i want an ice cream sandwich. i wanna take a nap. i wanna read a comic book. i wanna watch little use on the prairie. i want a .

Funny Quotes,  Beer Jokes One Liner,  
    
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I live in Los Angeles and I had been drinking one night. So I was on the walk of fame and I saw Tony Danza's star and I started urinating on it. Just yelling out, 

"Who's the boss now!?"
I live in Los Angeles and I had been drinking one night. So I was on the walk of fame and I saw Tony Danza's star and I started urinating on it. Just yelling out,

"Who's the boss now!?"


Funny Quotes,  Hollywood Jokes,  
    
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Hey, guys, you ready to let the dogs out?
Hey, guys, you ready to let the dogs out?

Funny Quotes,  Funny Music Sayings,  
    
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you only get stoned when you're unhappy? that's not healthy.
you only get stoned when you're unhappy? that's not healthy.

Funny Quotes,  Drug Jokes One Liners,  
    
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this year my new year's resolution was to stop saying "seacrest, out!" 

after i ejaculate.
this year my new year's resolution was to stop saying "seacrest, out!"

after i ejaculate.


Funny Quotes,  New Years Resolution Joke,  
    
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Mistakes men make:

1. Doing things. 
2. Not doing things. 
3. Thinking about doing things. 
4. Not thinking about doing things.
Mistakes men make:

1. Doing things.
2. Not doing things.
3. Thinking about doing things.
4. Not thinking about doing things.


Meme,  Funny Men Jokes For Women,  
    
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Last time I was heartbroken, I felt like someone had put one of those falcon hoods on my head. Ya know?
Last time I was heartbroken, I felt like someone had put one of those falcon hoods on my head. Ya know?

Funny Quotes,  Bird Jokes One Liners,  
    
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It's a satchel...

Indiana Jones has one.
It's a satchel...

Indiana Jones has one.


Funny Quotes,  Man Purse Jokes,  
    
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for 8 years now i've been addicted to cold turkey. 

when i tell people i'm quitting cold turkey, 

they say, "what are you quitting?" ,

i'm f#&%ing quitting cold turkey.
for 8 years now i've been addicted to cold turkey.

when i tell people i'm quitting cold turkey,

they say, "what are you quitting?" ,

i'm f#&%ing quitting cold turkey.


Funny Quotes,  Turkey Puns,  
    
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