Funny Witty Quotes

 – 71 total
So apparently adding "Please" after telling your co-worker to f*ck off doesn't count as being polite.
So apparently adding "Please" after telling your co-worker to f*ck off doesn't count as being polite.

Memes,  Funny Rude Sayings,  Coworker Jokes,  
    
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Another baby boomer at work looked at the tattoo on my arm and said "You know those are permanent right" and I said no
Another baby boomer at work looked at the tattoo on my arm and said "You know those are permanent right" and I said no

Memes,  Really Funny Tattoos,  Funny Sarcastic Quotes,  
    
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i don't have a resting  face. my  face is always on duty, ever vigilant. my  face will rest when its work is done.
i don't have a resting face. my face is always on duty, ever vigilant. my face will rest when its work is done.

Memes,  Funny And Relatable,  Personality Jokes,  
    
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es and their imaginary haters likeeee relax sis, nobody wanna be you
es and their imaginary haters likeeee relax sis, nobody wanna be you

Memes,  Jokes About Haters,  
    
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According to scientist at Harvard, hair is the thinnest thing in the world

They obviously haven't seen my patience
According to scientist at Harvard, hair is the thinnest thing in the world

They obviously haven't seen my patience


Memes,  Funny And Relatable,  Patience Jokes,  
    
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Idc how bad we fell off, if you call me at 3am needing someone I won't know bc ur blocked
Idc how bad we fell off, if you call me at 3am needing someone I won't know bc ur blocked

Memes,  Petty Jokes,  
    
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"Why you mad? I ain't your girl, remember?"
"Why you mad? I ain't your girl, remember?"

Memes,  Girls Be Like,  Females Be Like,  
    
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him: you miss me?

me: yeah

him: w much?

me:   u want me to lie twice
him: you miss me?

me: yeah

him: w much?

me: u want me to lie twice


Memes,  Jokes About Lying,  
    
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Mom: Roll your eyes one more time

Me:
Mom: Roll your eyes one more time

Me:


Memes,  Mocking Spongebob Meme,  
    
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ex: i suld've treated you better, i suld've appreciated you"

me: i suld've treated you better i suld've... shut the  up
ex: i suld've treated you better, i suld've appreciated you"

me: i suld've treated you better i suld've... shut the up


Memes,  Ex Boyfriend Insults,  
    
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"You probably got a gang of hoes"

Stop saying I got hoes bitch I'm lonely that's why I'm talking to you
"You probably got a gang of hoes"

Stop saying I got hoes bitch I'm lonely that's why I'm talking to you


Memes,  Keyboard Memes,  
    
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me: "remember when i told you that babe?"

her: "no, wrong "
me: "remember when i told you that babe?"

her: "no, wrong "


Memes,  Girls Be Like,  Funny Girlfriend Quotes,  
    
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Why "cash" you outside when I can smack the shit out you right here?
Why "cash" you outside when I can smack the shit out you right here?

Memes,  Roll Safe Meme,  
    
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"He's amazing"
"He makes me so happy"
"I think he's the one"

Can't relate
"He's amazing"
"He makes me so happy"
"I think he's the one"

Can't relate


Memes,  Single Memes,  
    
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